


Awkward Love | Yoonmin

by brelovescats



Category: Kpop - Fandom, yoonmin - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alone Yoongi, Awkwardness, Cute Yoongi, Eomma Helps, Eomma Jin, Hoseok Knows All, M/M, Mean Jimin, Meanie Jiminie, Oblivious Jungkook, Oblivious Rap Monster, Oblivious Taehyung, One True Pairing, Sad Yoongi, True friends, fluff later, poor suga, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-18 19:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8173183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brelovescats/pseuds/brelovescats
Summary: Yoongi notices how awkward Jimin is with him and only him.





	1. Chapter 1

BTS

Yoonmin

Yoongi and Jimin

Summary: Yoongi notices how awkward Jimin is with him and only him.

Yoongi POV

He is always smiling. I've never realized that... I don't even know why I am doing this. All I know is that an interviewer said that it looks as if Jimin and I are awkward with one another. We don't talk a lot sure, but I don't think we're awkward though. We talk once in a while. We don't talk so much though, barely, now that I think of it. Jimin and I are always talking to our specific line. I speak more with the hyung line. Jimin talks more with the maknae line. It makes sense. We are different in age. I am 23 years old. Jimin is 20. He's barely an adult. Wouldn't it make sense that we aren't that close?

He moves his body in a weird jerk motion. Taehyung and Jungkook look at him with smiles painted on their faces. Taehyung laughs and claps. Jungkook laughs so hard that he's laughing silently. I look at them with a confused expression. Jimin is- or at least was- laughing until his eyes meet mine. As soon as that happens, Jimin looks uncomfortable and turns his body away from mine. My shoulders sag. We **are** awkward. I guess I never realized it. I watch as Jin walks into the room. We glance at each other. I look at him with acknowledgement while he looks at me, worried. I frown at that. Why is he worried?

"Yoongi, can I talk to you about something?"

Jimin freezes. He doesn't dare look at me. Taehyung and Jungkook turn towards me as confused as I am. I sigh as if he said something ridiculous. Secretly, I am a little baffled as to why he wants to talk to me. Almost none of the members rarely ask to talk to me in private. We're a pretty open group when it comes to secrets. There are nearly none between us as a group. Why does Jin want to change that?

"Sure, Jin-hyung." I say it as I expected this, but I surely didn't. Jin must understand this because he smiles as if he knows something that will change how I look at the world.

"Come on then, Grandpa." I huff with an exaggerated eye roll. I hear a tiny chuckle and my head snaps towards the sound in shock. Jiminie? He looks up at me as if I said it out loud. Maybe I did. That doesn't matter. What matters is how quickly Jimin leaves the room when he realizes I heard his laugh. I sigh deeply again. My shoulders sag so much that I'm surprised they aren't on the floor by now. Jin grabs my small hand in his, pulling me out of the room, towards the other door.

"Come on, Yoongi."

"Hyung, why are you using my real name? What happened?" I mutter softly to put him at ease. I take in Jin's appearance carefully. He doesn't seem so stressed that he'll pull out his hair. But he looks stressed enough to sit and think about his troubles for a while in silence, alone.

"Nothing is wrong... Well... With me I mean." I sigh again, feeling confused. I shake my head as if Jin just got an answer on a pop quiz wrong. What he just said makes no sense.

"Then what is it?" I mutter, even quieter. Jin must hear me because he goes to answer me when he finds whatever he was looking for. He pulls me into a room full of storage boxes, all empty. It's a wide room with sunlight drowning everything in happiness. I glare at the offending light. It wasn't so bright in the room from earlier. I hiss at the sun. I sit with my back to towards the window. Jin sits next to me, with his chair tilted so the sun is only hitting the side of his face.

"Yoongi... What's up with Jimin and you?" He asks straightforward. I look at him in shock, amused.

"What? No quote for inspiration?" I laugh at my joke. Jin gives me a flustered look before pulling an index card out of his pocket. He pulls it up to his face so he can read it clearly. He clears his throat with a gross deep sound.

"Hyung, I was joking!" I exclaim, but of course this doesn't stop him. I begin thinking of what to say to stop him, but nothing would. Not when he's in the inspiring quote move.

"Yoongi, you have... 'Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.' from W. Clement Stone. You should follow his words, Yoongi." He's said my name **twice**. He just used a **quote.** He just tried to give me **advice.** What happened? Is my family okay? Are they hurt? Why is Jin acting like this is something extremely bad? Oh my gosh... What if it's my mom? My dad?

"Jin. Stop. Just tell me. Who is it? My eomma?" I can't help raising my voice. I stand up, not knowing how to position myself to take the news. I grab Jin's hands with fear apparent. My family... They mean everything to me. What else could be so worrying that Jin prepared to say this to me?

"NO. No. No, Yoongi. They are okay. They're okay." I drop to my knees. I place my forehead on Jin's knees. As the sobs wreck my body, I let no sounds escape my mouth. I only allow a few tears to slip from my eyes. I sniff repeatedly.

"Hyung?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

_Jimin._

"WHY?! OMO!!!!" I hear rapid footsteps and then arms are wrapped around my torso. It just makes me cry harder. I let the sounds escape me. Jin plays with my hair with a soft sigh that reminds me of a bubble popping. I lean away from his knees and he can see my face. His voice cracks with a sound that seems like it left his mouth on accident. He wipes away my tears, cooing at me like I'm a baby. A baby...

"I miss my mother. I miss my father. I want my family. Why?" I gasp out the words with loud sobs that I'll regret later with shame. For now, I let them sound loud in the room.

"JIMIN!" I yell with a shout. He starts and nearly falls. He lets go of me and looks at me, expectant yet concerned.

"You only care when I'm hurt. Only when I cry. WHY? WHY?" My voice is shrill and sounds so bad. It sounds as if I lost my voice or I am about to. Jimin looks at me with sorrowful eyes. He stands and he leaves me. He leaves me with I'm a broken mess on the floor.

"It isn't your family, Yoongi. It's him. Jimin. You and him need to talk."

Jin leaves me too. He's said his part. He believes I must be okay enough to stand up and leave with him. He believes in the wrong things. After about thirty minutes of fixing my composure, I lean the storage room with dry eyes. When I walk past Jungkook, he doesn't mention the obvious tear tracks under my eyes. He walks next to me, silently supporting me.

"Thank you." I whisper into his ear before Namjoon calls us to head towards the car to leave. When we pile up in the car, I'm stuck in the passenger seat. Jin is right behind me yet I don't want to say it openly. I pull out my phone and open Kakao Talk, ready to send him a message.

 **SweetLikeSuga** : What did you mean earlier

 **EommaJin** : ???

 **SweetLikeSuga** : The quote

 **EommaJin:** Oh... It means that you should try to accomplish your goals not matter what because you could still reach success another way if you fail

 **SweetLikeSuga:** But how does that go with me?

 **EommaJin:** *'apply to' you not 'go'

 **SweetLikeSuga:** ...

 **EommaJin** : I was talking about Jimin and you

 **SweetLikeSuga** : ???

 **EommaJin** : Try to talk to him about why he's being so odd towards you

 **SweetLikeSuga:** *with

 **EommaJin** : No I said it right.

 **SweetLikeSuga** : You forgot a comma

 **EommaJin** : ...

 **SweetLikeSuga** : I'm going to sleep

 **EommaJin:** In the car? _(1)_

 **EommaJin:** Guess so... _(1)_

 **E** _ **om**_ **maJin** : Hope you nap well... _(1)_

When I wake up, we're pulling up to the dorms. I yawn with a stretch and my bones crack. I gasp in pain. I shake it off quickly with no problem. I open my door and- once again -the light hurts my eyes. I raise an arm over my eyes, to shield them from the light of the building. I feel something poke into my chest. I look down and I see sunglasses, along with a hand decorated with Jimin's rings. I don't even look at him. I take the glasses with a nod of thanks, but my eyes don't search to meet his. I head off into the building with fast feet. I can't wait to go to sleep. Sleeping is the only thing I need right now. Not a dancer, singer, funny artist and group mate that ignores me unless I need something. Why can't we just **BE** Jimin? Why do I have to need something?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi gets turned on from Jimin's ass and dance. Hoseok and Jimin accidentally hurt Yoongi. Jimin is Yoongi's pain reliever.

BTS

Yoonmin

Yoongi and Jimin

Summary: Yoongi gets hurt during dance practice because of Hoseok's sexy chest.

I push back a few stray sweaty strands from my forehead. I pant hard. I bend over and place my hands on my knees. I begin to feel dizzy, but then I hear manager-nim ask the director of today's dance practice ask if we can start from the beginning. I watch as Jungkook pants so hard that it sounds as there is no wetness set upon his lips at all. Jin looks around, worried. When his eyes meet mine, I try to smile halfheartedly but I can tell I fail. Jin just shakes his head, anger making his face turn even more red.

He opens his mouth to say something, but then Hoseok whispers something into Jin's ear. Jin relaxes the slightest bit and I love Hoseok a little more. He's such an amazing friend. When Jin turns away, Hoseok sneaks a thumbs up towards me. I smile, genuinely. As soon as I do, I hear Jimin make an indignant sound. I look at him, confused, but he just makes an upset noise in the back of his throat before turning to mutter something to Namjoon-hyung. Hoseok laughs and I look at him, surprised.

Sometimes my members are seriously all so confusing.

"Actually... Jimin and Jungkook, practice Adult Ceremony." My blood runs cold. Jungkook is so good at this dance, but Jimin... He blows me away. I can never describe how good he is. He just... He has proper body placement, charisma, patience, passion etc. He just blows me away in the best way possible. I always lose my mind whenever I watch him dance. It's as if I only have eyes for Jimin. So when the music starts and I hear the soft moans from the track, I can't help but imagine hearing Jimin make similar sounds. Then I snap out of it.

What is wrong with me? Jimin is three years younger than me. I can't be thinking about hearing him make such lewd sounds. I watch Jimin as he rolls his head from the left to the right in tune to the track. I watch his every movement. I can see the smallest bead of sweat on his neck, but I only see him. If someone were to ask me what shirt Jungkook is wearing as he dances right next to Jimin, I would not know.

Jimin continues to dance full out. I can imagine feeling his muscles move under my palms... Those soft pants entering into my mouth... Holding those small wrists tightly as I push him against-

"I have to go! I mean... To the bathroom or something..."

I exclaim suddenly. As I walk past him in order to leave the practice room, Hoseok stops me. He pulls me close to his body. I can feel the contrasting warm heat of his body versus how hot and tense mine is right now. He places his mouth right against my ear.

"Get a little _**hot**_ , Suga?"

His chuckles make me shiver because I almost nodded. I almost let it slip. I escape the room, and when I get into the bathroom, I wash my face with the cold tap. I make sure to splash water into my open eyes until it stings them. I can't think that way about someone from the maknae line. If I had to feel like way, I wish it were towards Jin or Namjoon. Or even Hoseok. I can't believe this nonsense. I am supposed to drink straight, keep my head on straight all the while maintaining my straight sexuality.

" _ **Fucking Park Jimin**_. So sexy he makes even men rethink their sexuality."

I bang my fists against the sink in frustration. I think back to last night with a sigh. I lean my back against the bathroom door.

( _"Jimin?" I say, confused. I sit up in bed looking at the familiar figure in the doorway of my room._

_"I can't sleep." I think about how he was acting towards me. What could have changed in order to change his mind about me so quickly? Did he talk to Jin? Did hyung change Jimin's mind? If so, thank you. If not, I don't care. Jimin is in my room, talking to me like normal. I don't care why he's here. I'm just happy that I'm not being ignored._

_"What does that have to do with me?" I grumble. I sound mad. I should have said it better._

**_"I want to sleep with you."_ **

_I choke on the saliva in my mouth. I can feel my face turning red. Jimin hurriedly waves his hands in a way that clearly means ' **NO** '. _

_"Not like that, hyung. You're so dirty minded."_

_"Says the oldest of the maknae line who wants to dance to Adult Ceremony in two weeks..." I say with a smirk. Jimin's cheeks redden easily. He climbs into bed next to me. In the morning, Jimin's perfect plump ass is pressed directly against my front. I can't help letting out a moan when he squirms with soft whines. He must be uncomfortable or something. I wrap an arm around his waist, as I feel myself growing in my pants. I hold his hips still._

_"Jiminie... Careful. Don't tease your hyung." Jimin jumps out of the bed with a deep chuckle. My eyes widen. Did Jimin just... **PLAN THAT?!**_ )

My cheeks redden as I remember how I had to step under the cold spray of the shower as soon as Jimin left. I groan, banging my head against the wall as another way of wave of lust runs throughout my body. I take a deep breath as I try to calm down. I think of babies, naked grandmas, bananas, balloons, static electricity. Finally, I think of Namjoon's aegyo and my boner leaves me immediately.

"Thank you, Cringe Worthy Namjoon." I open the door of the bathroom. I walk into the practice room and then I see it. I see my favorite part. In my haste to leave again, I bumped into Hoseok. Hoseok's body is so firm and not fat at all so I have no idea how my light body flies off of Hoseok's filled out chest. I fall into Jimin and my leg lands under him at an angle that makes me cry out. I can feel pain run throughout my whole leg. I bury my face into Jimin's neck with a hiss.

"Suga? What's wrong? Why are you-? **OH MY GOD! YOONGI!** " I cry hard in his neck. My salt filled tears soak up the collar of Jimin's favorite shirt and a dip in his neck. I can hear the music stop, Jungkook's worried yells, Taehyung's deep voice asking if I can move, Namjoon arguing that the video should not be aired because I got hurt badly, Jin trying to calm everyone down, Hoseok repeatedly crying while saying sorry and everyone genuinely freaking out.

The only way who understands the situation and how I am feeling right now is Jimin. Jimin carefully gets out from under me. As if I'm a child, he moves so he's sitting up and he sets me in his lap. I tuck my hurt sprained ankle onto my lap. Tears run freely down my face. I continue to cry with loud sobs. I tuck my face into Jimin's neck once more. Jimin begins rubbing my back until I feel sleepy.

"I'm tired." I whisper into Jimin's ear. I can still feel the hard throbbing and excruciating pain, but my body is too tired. Jimin shivers when my whisper tickles his neck.

"Go to sleep, hyung." I move to look up at him. Usually, I hate how small I am, but right now I am the perfect size for this. I'm grateful for how 'smol' I am. He must see how worried and panicked I am because Jimin smiles at me. Seeing his smile puts me at ease.

"I've got you, hyung. I've got you."

But how long will you stay with me? How long until you ignore me once more? The words never leave my mouth, however. Sleep kidnaps my mind and the yelling of my members becomes a distant whisper. All I can hear is Jimin's soft voice repeating the words that heal me.

_I've got you, hyung._

_I've got you._

_I've got you, hyung._

_I've got you._

_Got to sleep, hyung._

_I've got you._

_I've got you._

_I've got you._

I just wish I heard: **" I won't leave ever again"** as well...


	3. The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi comes to with an ankle brace on and Jimin asleep at his bed side.

When I finally open my eyes, I automatically yawn. I press the pad of my right hand's thumb against my closed eye lid. I rub gently. Then I move it to the corner of my eye and I rub away the crust from my eye. I do the same with my left eye. I try to roll my right foot in a clockwise circle and I shout out a swear word when I feel the immediate, very real pain. I hear someone grumble, annoyed. I turn towards my left side, careful not to jostle my hurt ankle. 

It's Jimin. Jimin is asleep in the chair near my bed. Or... Wait... Is this a hospital bed?! Oh my gosh. I can't believe this. I hate hospitals. They smell odd, are uncomfortable for me, make me upset with the idea of death possibly being right next door... I don't like the idea of staying in a place where people die in a white covered bed. It terrifies me. 

Who will take over my song writing while I'm gone? Hopefully, no one. They don't write lyrics like I do. We all have very different writing styles. Jungkook will sit down and write a song out in an hour and compose the musical notes, only to play it out loud and realize something is missing. His song writing is improving, but it still takes him a day to write one. Taehyung writes songs that make everyone want to dance, but the music stays locked up inside of his head. He can never write the notes down without erasing them two minutes later. It frustrates him and he usually just gives me the paper. Namjoon can write music well. His music is always full of hidden sexual overtones though. People would think that he would over that by now, but nope. He still does it. Jin writes songs that make people miss their family and warm fireplaces and the feeling of a snowflake on your tongue. Jin makes people's hearts bleed slowly and happily. Jimin writes song with beat drops that make the song so good and full of meaning. He writes life stories about girls he's seen on the streets, an earring, a dove, a pen, the color blue- Anything really. He's so good about making anything sound good. He has a good ear for music too though he can't write out notes. But whenever the maknae line get together; with Tae's scribbled happy words, Jungkook's passion, and Jimin's knack; the maknae line make me speechless. They could rule the world if they were focused enough. 

My song writing process is different. My songs are full of stories with a beat that's easy to follow. My music is full of sorrow that is disguised as happiness. My songs can sound lazy, but be about the happiness of others. My songs can sound upbeat, but be about abuse in houses. My songs wear smiles whenever it hides sadness in the story behind the lyrics. My songs wear frowns whenever it hides the happiness in the story behind the lyrics. My songs are my heart. They are like me. My face without a smile makes me look as if I am not happy, but I am just content not speaking at the moment. My face with a smile makes me look as if I'm the happiest being in Korea when I could hiding the awful growing sadness inside of me.

I know that no one can write like me. I hope no one is trying right now. That reminds me. Where are they? When Taehyung sprained his wrist, we were surrounding his bed. When Jungkook hurt his hip, we were waiting for him to open his eyes. When Jin fell ill and kept throwing up, we showed up in the doorway for hospital masks, gloves and buckets at the ready. Where are they? I try to focus on anything but my sadness and hurt, but it slowly begins to consume me. It hurts. I don't want to admit it, not out loud and not even to myself, but I can't even attempt to lie to myself.

"What are you thinking about?" I jerk backwards, outstretching my leg on accident. When my foot hits the foot of the bed, I howl in pain. I let tears slip down my face, too focused on the pain to worry about my appearance nor my pride.

"Hyung! I'm so sorry. You seemed so sad all of sudden. You were thinking so hard and looked so stressed. I knew I should have not been the one you saw first. Jin-hyung was so wr-!" I look up at Jimin in shock. I never even noticed when he woke up . I was thinking so hard, just like Jimin just said.

"What do you mean Jin was wrong?" Jimin frowns at me, whether he's frowning because he accidentally startled me or because I didn't call Jin 'hyung' I don't know. Jimin takes a deep breath, about to speak, when he stands up. He walks over to the edge of the bed. He lifts my foot and places it back in the weird black sling thing every hospital seems to know how to set up above a bed. As Jimin snaps my foot back in, I look at him, waiting for him to continue.

He walks back over to the hospital chair. He sits down at the edge of it. He faces me and I can feel the heat rising from my neck. I pull the ugly flower patterned hospital gown up towards my chin. 

"Jin-hyung thought you would like to see me first. They're all outside of the door waiting to be let in. Hyung said that it would better if one by one they came in so as not to startle you, but I guess we failed already."

When Jimin finishes, he rubs the back of his neck. He isn't looking at me so I smile softly. When he lifts his head again, I clear my throat and thin my lips into no shape at all.

"I didn't know you were awake. I already knew you were here. I just didn't realize you woke up. I was thinking to myself so I wasn't as alert as usual." I offer my explanation with a voice as strong as I can make it. I feel as though my throat is very sore. I clear my throat again, but I must make a sound of pain because Jimin jumps up with a worried expression on his face. I watch as he wheels over the brown hospital table. It has a pink water pitcher. From here, I can hear the ice hit each other and suddenly I feel very thirsty. Before I can ask, Jimin pours some water into a white styrofoam cup. He puts in a pink bendy straw (and I think he did it on purpose because of the hair). Jimin holds the cup for me. He places the straw in between my lips and his fingers brush against my lips on accident. He turns a bright red. I can see the door of my hospital room open. The others watch as Jimin places his knee against the bed, leaning over me so I can drink as much as I want. I slurp, needy. My throat hurt so bad. It felt like sandpaper.

"Better?" Jimin asks, pulling the straw and cup away from my mouth. Once again, his fingers brush against my lips. Once again, I don't mention it. I act as if it doesn't make my heart beat a little faster. I just hum in affirmation.

"What were you thinking about?" I'm asked this question a lot by the members of Bangtan. They all want to know what I am thinking, what I was thinking, what I think about a topic; but sometimes it is hard for me to explain it in a way that others would understand. But for some reason, talking to Jimin is as easy as breathing. It's something I do automatically, without thinking. I open up and I spill.

"You." Why did I say that? Jimin nearly drops the water cup. His cheeks begin to gradually turn red. I laugh at that, showing off my gummy smile. Jimin smiles, sheepishly. 

"Just me?" Is that hope I hear? I file it away for later. I wet my lips with my tongue, already wanting some more water. But if I ask now, Jimin will most likely think I'm trying to mess with him.

"No. Bangtan as a whole. I was thinking about how differently we write stories." Jimin looks at me, already knowing that that wasn't all. I sigh and I'm so close to saying more, but then Taehyung falls on the floor from trying to spy. I just let out a deep breath of relief. Jimin frowns at Taehyung and he pouts a bit. I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. Jimin can't resist running over to help up Taehyung however. The two youngest mean the world to Jimin. He loves the idea of watching out for younger ones. Even if Taehyung and Jungkook are close to him age, especially Taehyung, who is a 95 lines as well.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Jungkook whispers as if he's scared he'll wake me. It would be adorable if I had my eyes closed, but since I don't, it's kind of odd. It's still endearing to me though. Sometimes, I forget Jungkook is the maknae and not Tae. Jungkook is quiet and self-sufficient on his own. Taehyung is loud and always excited to do something with others. So I often believe Taehyung is the maknae except for moments like these. Moments like this force me to remember the real truth.

"It hurts, but only a small amount." I let the words fall out of my mouth as sweet as possible. Like water to barren soil, Jungkook soaks up all the words with a hopeful expression. He looks so happy. Then Hoseok flicks my ankle. I cover my mouth, but I can tell that Jungkook can see the tears filling up my eyes though they don't fall. The only thing that falls is Jungkook's shoulders as they slump. He seems so troubled and I feel so bad. The hyung line, Taehyung and Jimin turn to glare at Hoseok. Hoseok offers a soft apology and I open my arms. I know how much they love hugs. Hoseok runs over and Jungkook walks as fast as he can't without running like his hyung. Hoseok drops into my right side. Jungkook carefully sinks into my left side. I rub up and down Hoseok's back while I hold onto Jungkook tightly. I know what they need right now though I'm not used to doing this for them. 

My eyes scan the room. The first thing I notice is Taehyung holding his wrist as if it hurts. Then I notice Namjoon is on the phone with someone. He looks so angry. Jin is standing next to Namjoon with a brave face. They look as if they are holding so much stress inside, but are struggling to show a brave front. Only then do I notice Jimin. Jimin is looking at me as if he hates me. My mood drops automatically then. When Jimin realizes he's making me sad, he fixes his frown into a grimace, trying to smile. I cheer up a bit and I let go of Hoseok and Jungkook. Jungkook smiles at me, happier now. Hoseok tries not to smile but then he does a little dance.

"I am your Hope! J-Hope! And I hope you get better soon." He says the last statement sincerely, with no playful tone. I understand that he isn't joking and I nod. 

"I hope so too. I'm sorry that I'm so clumsy. I didn't mean to do this. If I could still perform, I don't see why I shouldn't do it. I will." They protest, claiming that that plan will only get me more hurt than I am now. When I say I don't care, they scold me. Even the maknae line scold me, even though I usually have automatic respectful silence at times like these. That's when I realize how much they are worried and how concerned they are about me and my health.

Namjoon hangs up his phone and walks up to me. He slaps my hand in a brotherly greeting before opening his mouth. "Hurry up and get up walking soon. I need my fellow rapper. Having Hoseok is great, but I need the both of you or it won't work." With that, he walks away with a fist bump. I feel better hearing him. He isn't teary-eyed nor sounding as if this is extremely horrible. That makes the guilt slip away.

Jin walks up to me with eyebrows scrunched up in worry. I know how he has anxiety problems. I look at him in the way I only look at him. He walks over to my head with a nod. He turns so no one can see his left hand when he holds my hand. None of the members can ever see this vulnerability of mine. It would just drag the team down. Only Jin can see this side. Not even Jimin knows about this. Whenever I feel worried, despite how much I say I don't want anyone touching me, I need it. I need someone to hold my hand and to just be there. But I feel as if asking the younger ones to be my rock and comfort is too much. So it's something I only ask Jin for. He walks away after four minutes and, yes, I counted. I feel myself feel stronger emotionally.

When Taehyung walks over to me, I can already feel his energy or aura. That's how Tae is. He's someone I can trust to bring my spirits up just by presence alone. He walks over to me without his hands covered up by his hoodie's sleeves. 

"Does your wrist hurt?" I can hear the rest of Bangtan murmur in shock. Of course I noticed. Tae didn't make that sound earlier for fun. It hurt him. Tae uses his left hand to hide his tiny smile as he holds out his wrist. I gently trace every vein on the inside of his palm and I'm rewarded with a soft giggle. It's so low that I can just barely hear it. I check it with my serious game face on. I can see that it's red from hitting so hard. He also has a lot of scratches on the underside of his hand where his wrist starts. I bring Tae's hand to my mouth. I gently blow air against the scratches. Taehyung shifts his weight to his other foot. He starts shuffling them until his eyes meet mine. He stops immediately. After a few tense minutes of Bangtan waiting for the verdict, I finally let Taehyung have his hand back.

"Jin-hyung, ask any passing nurse for some antiseptic, gauze and tape. Taehyung hurt himself with the fall from earlier. It's too big for any small bandages." Jin leaves immediately with a run. Taehyung leans down until his head is on my shoulder. 

"Thank you, hyung." Hearing that makes me smile wide. I don't care if Bangtan see it. I love helping the maknae line with things. It's always wonderful to hear that. The soft 'thank you' warms my heart. Taehyung walks away from me and towards a panting Jin. Jin carefully hands Tae the things I asked for, already knowing what I know. That Taehyung will ask me to do it.

"Can you help me, hyung?" It's the 'hyung' that gets me. Nothing else. NOT his shy smile. Dang it, Taehyung. No wonder noonas fan themselves whenever they see him doing aegyo. It's too much for their poor hearts. I thoughtfully wrap Taehyung's wrist after wiping the scratches with the antiseptic. Tae takes it like a champ. He does let out one whimper, but besides that he was completely silent. As soon as I'm done, Taehyung hugs me as fast as possible or at least he tries to, but I hold onto him. Taehyung sighs so content. When I let go, Taehyung smiles so wide. He's a little sad from the way he let go, but I can tell he's okay now.

Now... It's Jimin's turn.

Jimin bites his bottom lip. He stands up and the rest of Bangtan back up. Jimin seems even more nervous when they do that. Jimin walks over to the chair he was sitting in before. I can hear Jin tell the others "It's best if we leave them alone" and I can hear the amusement in his tone. Jimin ignores Jin's words though so I choose not to react as well.

"It's my turn. You made everyone feel better. You hugged both Jungkook and Hoseok to reassure them that you were okay, you showed your brotherly love with Namjoon which helped the both of you relax, you made Jin feel better by just letting him near you, you watched out for Taehyung and let him hold you a little longer than usual and you smiled because he thanked you... You made everyone feel better. Is it safe to say it's my turn, hyung?" I'm left stunned. I look at Jimin with my jaw dropped and my mouth open. He looks at me with a stern expression on his face. He looks like a wife ready to divorce her husband. He looks that mad at me.

"You're right, Jimin. Say whatever it is you wanted to." I yield. I want to see where this is going. I thought originally that Jimin would yell at me for not answering his question. If he wants to act like this, for now I'll allow it.

"What else were you thinking about? Earlier? Before they came in." Jimin's voice is hard, devoid of all emotion. He sounds as if he's ready to explode with anger.

"I was thinking about how sad I was. No one was in here except you. I thought everyone would be near me as soon as I woke up. Imagine how I felt. It was devastating." As soon as I release the truth, I feel my chest is lighter now. Jimin looks so shocked however. He looks as if he expected something flippant.

"Yoongi..."

"Why don't you ever say anything other than my name?"

"Then stop making me speechless."

"That's never my intention." My voice wavers from emotion. I'm angry.

"Realize how you affect people then, asshole." My eyes widen.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU DISRESPECTFUL BRAT!!!!" The heart monitor goes crazy and I slump against the hospital bed. Jimin glares at me, still upset.

"Stop thinking of only yourself. Jin was wrong. You didn't need me." I take a deep breath. It comes out hot. 

"Maybe he was. I don't." Jimin sniffs and runs out crying. 

I turn my head until I'm looking at the blank wall. I can't stop thinking about the one person I can trust to bring color into my dull life. I just chased him off. Jimin's right. I AM an asshole.


	4. Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi is put on punishment. Hoseok comes up with a plan to help Yoongi become noticed.

I never expected Jimin to be so childish. Yes, he’s a part of the maknae line, but we’re older now. That includes them. That includes Jimin as well. Ever since that argument in the hospital, he hasn’t spoken to me. He doesn’t laugh at my jokes. He doesn’t look my way. He doesn’t show skinship with me for fans. He does nothing to show that he even acknowledges my existence. Any time I stare into his eyes with him looking at something else, I always see that sadness. He’s upset about something. I don’t have any clue what it could be. 

I’ve tried to talk to him. It’s been two weeks now. He still doesn’t want to talk even though I gave him plenty of time to brood. Usually, brooding is my specialty. I simply can’t break Jimin. Not this time. The others are noticing. They know something’s up, but they don’t know what to say about it. They exchanged worried looks and concerned glances every time Jimin walks past me, head high. I have no clue what to do about him. It’s as if I upset my girlfriend or something.

“Not hungry, Yoongi?” Jin. I look down at my plate. It’s a dish that I can always eat with a smile on my face. But, right now, the food makes me want to vomit. I look up at Jin with a forced smile. I shovel food into my mouth. Each swallow fights with my gag reflex. I finish my food rather quickly. As I stand up to leave the table, I see Jimin looking at Taehyung. His soft smile makes my heart hurt because I haven’t been on the receiving end of it in so long. I sigh, dejected, and place my plate in the sink. 

Someone else scrapes their chair legs on the floor. I can hear a breath. I choose to ignore it when I feel an arm wrap around mine. I look down and the ‘J-Hope’ bracelet gives him away. I continue walking, one step more, before I let curiosity get a hold of me.

“What is it, Hoseok?” He smirks at me. I smile a bit. I look over and I see Jimin is staring straight at us. It’s more focused on me. He looks so angry. His eyes glance from Hoseok’s arm to my face as if I am doing something entirely wrong. Too bad I have no clue what. Jimin starts seething when Hoseok leans over, his mouth near my ear.

“Just checking something.” He says it with a mischievous tone as he pulls away. He turns towards the table, towards Jimin. He clutches my hand instead of my arm this time. He even puffs out his chest again. I shake my head at him. He’s always so funny when he’s dramatic. He is an awesome friend to cheer anyone up when they need it. Jimin glares hard at J-Hope. I frown. Jimin should learn to respect his hyungs. No matter how mad he is, he should learn when to show respect. I would fold my arms, but Hoseok’s grip is tight enough so I can’t simply slip my hand out of his.

“I’m going to Yoongi’s room. By myself. Just us.” It sounds like something out of a manga. I cough a bit, realizing what Hoseok is trying to do. He’s trying to make Jimin jealous. Doesn’t he know that Jimin doesn’t care? Jimin is too busy being upset to care. 

“Why the fuck are you?” Jimin’s voice rings clear in the air. I tense up and Hoseok simply smiles. He walks over to Jimin, still holding my hand. He drags me over. He uses his other hand to pat Jimin’s head. Jimin tries to bite him as he does.

“Such a pottymouth. Right, Yoongi?” I think about how Jimin should respect his elders. I think about his pettiness. I think about how he only cares whenever I’m hurt. I think about how long he’s been ignoring me.

“Watch your fucking mouth, Jimin.” Jimin’s jaw drops. His eyes shine with fresh tears and Hoseok squeezes my hand. He understands me. Jin stands up abruptly. He throws down the napkin he had set in his lap as he ate.

“Yoongi! What is even going on?! Why are you two acting like this?!” Jin is about to continue. He even takes a deep breath to prepare. Luckily, Namjoon stands up as well. He goes over to Jin and clasps a hand on his shoulder. Jin sighs, resigned, understanding that Namjoon will take over. Namjoon sighs as if it hurts him to say whatever he has to say next.

“Yoongi, after you and Hoseok talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk about, I need you to stay in your room. I’ll be taking your headphones, pens and pencils. I’m also disconnecting the computer. Then I’m going to send Jimin in your room and you two are going to talk it out. It’s taking a toil on Taehyung and Jungkook. Now it’s affecting Jin and I, and even Hoseok has gotten into this now. Whatever it is, fix it. We’re a team. We can’t be a united anything, if we aren’t even united at home.” As soon as Namjoon finishes, I storm off. I squeeze Hoseok’s hand as if I’m a pregnant woman going through contractions. Hoseok winces in pain. I shove him into my room. As soon as the door closes, I grab him by his shirt collar and pull him close to me.

“How the fuck did you know?!” Hoseok chuckles nervously. I realize that I’m lifting him off of the floor. I set him back down before slamming his body against the bedroom door. 

“Well?!” I demand, impatient. There should be no one who knows about my crush. 

“You’re very obvious.” Liar.

“You give him heart eyes.” Sure, sure. Lie some more.

“You can’t stop thinking about him. You stare off into space over him.” Who fucking told you?!

I take a couple of deep breaths before pushing off of him. Yoongi groans, rubbing the back of his head. I walk over to my bed, taking a seat. Hoseok follows suit. I lay down and I let Hoseok lay his head on my thigh as he lies sideways. I’m too upset to push him off of me.

“What did you want to tell me?” I whisper. Hoseok rubs my knees with a careful intake before replying.  
“I wanted to tell you that I know about your crush on Jimin. And… I have a plan on how to get his attention.” I furrow my eyebrows at him. Though it is true that Hoseok is extremely good at fixing situations, can he seriously fix this one? Jimin, the most open book (besides Taehyung) I know, isn’t talking to me. He usually tells me everything. We used to stay up texting each other about random topics. We used to laugh at inanimate objects that reminded up about our inside jokes. Now the only inside joke I know is Jimin possibly liking me. It’s impossible. Especially the way he’s been acting recently. However, Hoseok’s plans have an 86% success rate. I don’t know how this will go. I should at least hear him out though.

“What’s your plan? I don’t think any plan will work at this point.” I admit. I stretch my arms above my head. I hear the satisfying crack and roll my neck until I hear the same sound. Hoseok makes a disgusted noise, but I roll my eyes.

“We should play up on skinship until Jimin is jealous enough to talk it out with you.” I start to think it over when I realize something.

“Namjoon is already forcing him to.” I watch Hoseok’s face fall before it lights up with happiness again when a thought occurs to him.

“You and I both know that there’s a high chance of Jimin saying he’s fine and that nothing is your fault and that nothing is wrong. You know Jimin needs a push. He won’t break and you don’t know how to break him. It’s the only way I can think of.” Hoseok is right. Jimin is a person that needs a nudge once in awhile. It only makes sense that he would deal with disagreements in a similar way.

“What about the others?” Why does Hoseok want to do this? What’s in it for him? Why didn’t Jin come up with this? Does he not approve of this? What if this is Jin’s plan, not Hoseok’s? I bet it is. Wait. No way. Jin would think we’re making the situation worse. Should I even try this?

“Jungkook would somehow make Jimin fall for him instead. There’s a reason he’s nicknamed International Playboy. And it’s not because of girls. Taehyung would probably do it, but that would make me upset so don’t even fucking dare. I mean it!!! Jin would automatically say no because he’ll doubt it will work. Namjoon and you are too much like brothers for that to even feel right for you. I’m already comfortable with you. You’re comfortable with me. I don’t want anything from you, Yoongi. I’m the safest person for you to confide in as well. Jin’s too focused on group meetings to understand just how much you want privacy. Let me help you, hyung. I want to help you.”

So that is what is truly about. Hoseok wants to help me. Ever since I saved him from getting hit by a car, Hoseok feels like he’s indebted to me. He feels like he owes me. I understand why he feels like that. I just wish he didn’t.

“I’ll give it a try.” Hoseok cheers and jumps up and down. He starts screaming, “I CONTROL THE RULES!!!” and then I realize my mistake. I forgot to even ask Hoseok what being his fake boyfriend? would mean.

“Aish… You’re going to have me do things I’m not comfortable with, aren’t you?”

“Only a little, hyung.”

“I’m screwed.” Hoseok laughs.


	5. "It's Because You Don't Care"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin doubts Yoongi cares about him. They break down in front of each other. Hoseok takes care of Yoongi, but who takes care of Jimin?
> 
> (Short chapter)

“Will you be fine to talk with Jimin?” I nod. Hoseok just makes a low sound in the back of his throat, clearly worrying already. If any should be worrying it’s me, but I understand why he feels that way. This talk with Jimin could make the plan have to put into motion or fix Jimin and I’s relationship right now. Hoseok hugs me and I wave as he walks out of my room. He kisses his hand and blows towards me, always so dramatic. I laugh. 

Jimin walks into my room. His presence makes me want to shake. I watch his hands as they close the door. He stands perfectly still with a grim expression on his face. He looks as if he’s at his eomma’s funeral. He looks so solemn and sad.

“Why were you upset this morning?” I choose to start off with something extremely recent, in hopes that Jimin won’t take offense. Jimin clenches his fists. I messed up. He’s still upset though I have no clue as to why.

“Maybe it’s because you don’t care. You see I’m not speaking to you and you don’t say anything. You don’t get upset. You sit back and touch Hoseok. You laugh and smile with him as if you aren’t affected. You don’t ever care. I can’t watch you do that so I always turn away whenever you look at me.” 

I take a moment to look at Jimin properly. He doesn’t look angry. I just assumed he would be. He isn’t. He looks so forlorn. He looks ready to break down. He looks so ready to cry. The thing is… I know there is something he isn’t telling me. The secret is tearing apart my happy little Jiminie until he’s exploding. He can’t tell anyone for some reason. 

“I do care, Jimin. So much-” I start yet I don’t get to finish.

“Why did Namjoon even suggest this? You’re lying. You are lying to me. To make me feel better. Stop lying to me. Why do you love hurting me?! Stop lying to me!” He’s screaming at me now. He drops to the floor, covering his ears. He begins shaking. His breathing becomes erratic. He starts repeating that over and over again. I rush over to him. I pull his shaking form against me. His tears continue running down his face. He gradually stops shaking and crying. I lay him down onto my bed with loud sobs. 

“Yoongi? YOONGI?!” I drop to the floor in a crying fit. Hoseok pulls me to his chest. He strokes my hair and cheeks. He rocks me gently back and forth.

“What’s wrong? Huh? What’s wrong?” He’s muttering over and over again. I clutch onto his shirt like it’s my lifeline.

“He doesn’t believe me. Then he started shaking. He couldn’t breath properly. He doesn’t believe me. He hates me. He thinks I don’t care about him. He thinks I would rather focus on others than him. I love him. Why doesn’t he realize it?! WHY?! WHY?!” I continue to scream as I cry. The other members watch from my doorway as I finally lose it. I let out a long loud scream into Hoseok’s chest. All he does is coo at me as he rubs my back. He continues to rock me back and forth and I feel protected.

“It’s okay, hyung. It’s okay. Let it out. It’s okay. Jimin loves you too. Don’t you dare forget that. He loves you too.” 

For now, as I lay in his arms stressed and tired, I believe him. I let myself believe him. I fall asleep with a smile on my face, and because Jimin is in my bed and I go with Hoseok, with a warm caring Hoseok to hold me. Content and at ease.


	6. No One Else Should Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin's Pov
> 
> Jikook moment. Jungkook comforts his hyung.

That's your hyung. 

That's your hyung.

He's allowed to touch other people.

Hoseok is a friend, not an enemy.

 

I sniff hard and let my tears fall as fast as they want to. I focus on letting each breath stay inside of me for at least two seconds before I release it again. i focus on counting the tiles on the ceiling. I pull out some injeolmi rice balls from my pocket out of its bag. I begin to eat away my pain. I continue eating until I feel full. I lay against my bed on my back.

He most likely doesn't even like Hoseok like that. There's no way Hoseok likes Yoongi anyway. Yoongi has to like me. He looks at me with so much longing.

I stuff some more rice balls into my mouth. I sniff some more. I hold onto my chest when I begin dry heaving. I cough a couple of times. I pull out my phone, using the black screen as a mirror. My nose looks darker. I unlock my phone. I go to selfie mode on my phone. I gasp when I see my reflection. I have red puffy eyes, a red swollen nose, bitten bleeding lips and tomato red cheeks. I begin to sob even harder. It's one o'clock in the morning and I can't stop crying over someone who is happier sleeping in bed with someone else. I'm the lowest of the low. I pick up a vase a fan bought me. I put my hand back, ready to throw it, when I remember Army. Sweet innocent Army should never be harmed or have hurt feelings due to my carelessness and anger. I grab tissues with my left hand and set the vase back down from my right hand.

"Jimin?" I can hear Jungkook calling me. **_No one_ ** should ask why I lay down under the covers. _**No one**_ should ask why I don't answer the door. _**No one** _ should ask what happened next. _**No one**_ should ask why I cried in the **maknae's** arms instead of being a **strong hyung**. _**No one**_ should ask why I refused to let go of the maknae even after I stopped crying. _**No one**_ should ask why Jungkook cried with me.

 _ **Only I**_ should ask and know the answers from those questions. _**Only Jungkook and I**_. _**No one else should ask.**_  


	7. What A Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook cries, Yoonseok have a good morning, Jimin ignores Yoongi some, short Namjin moment, Taehyung gets hurt

"What's wrong, Jungkook?" I ask the maknae. His eyes are red and swollen. His arms look as if he scraped them. He looks so sad and hurt and alone. So when Jungkook offers a pitiful smile, I frown back. He simply straightens his shoulders and back. He stands ramrod straight at attention. He clears his throat and presses his lips tightly together. He looks down as if thinking about someone. He offers another weak half-hearted smile my way and my shoulders sink. Something had to be wrong...

Not being good at comforting people is really annoying me right now. Before this, I was extremely happy and hopeful about today. My morning started off with Hoseok still holding me. He's such a good friend. He got me up and let me brush my teeth before watching Up with me. He found a translated version of YouTube and said that he was waiting to watch it with a friend. All I could was smile and thank him before slipping back into bed with him. As Hoseok played with my hair, his body a respectful distance away from mine, I thought of soft small playful hands that danced in the air to the pleasing tone and voice of Park Jimin. Before I could even frown, however, Hoseok paused the movie and pulled out popcorn. Stuffing my face with the warm kernels help calm me. Especially when Hoseok started a popcorn throwing tournament that involved aiming at each other's mouths. But now Jungkook is sad. The precious maknae is sad.

"I'm fine, hyung."

"Stop bullshitting me and tell me." I snap at him, angry that someone dared upset the maknae. Jungkook's eyes shimmer, wet with tears, and I curse myself for being so stupid. I open my mouth, about to apologize, when no one other than Park Jimin steps out of his room and into the hallway. His eyes don't meet mine at all. His eyes land and stay on Jungkook's tears as they race each other towards his chin. Jungkook sniffs. My heart aches at the sight. Jungkook is shy to his very center. To see him cry so openly means something is _**very definitely completely utterly not okay.**_ I move forward towards him, but Jimin rushes over to his side. Jungkook holds Jungkook close. Jungkook steps onto Jimin's feet so his don't touch the floor. Jimin shuffles the two of them into his room and I'm shook. 

Hoseok steps out of my bedroom with a towel wrapped around his the top of his head. Another sits upon his waist, hanging off his hips. He looks at me, confused. Then I realize my puzzlement must show on my face.

"Something wrong, hyung?" I choose to chuckle. Jungkook must be fine. He has Jimin to keep him company. If any, I'll ask him later what's wrong. He won't refuse then.

"I just remembered that Dug dies later in the movie!!!" I say with fake sobs. I sink to the floor, delicately, and continue to fake cry. Hoseok's eyes widen with mirth. He understands that I'm joking. Similar to how I understand that he'll ask me what happened later on. He lets out an anguish filled cry that sounds so real before fake sobs shake his frame. He sinks to the floor besides me. 

" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** " He wails and cries and kicks out in fury and sorrow. I laugh louder than ever and clutch my stomach. I can hear Namjoon whispering about taking me to see a therapist to Jin who just rolls his eyes with a smile. Jin and Namjoon laugh at us until we hear a bloodcurdling scream from our second youngest Coke-loving 'alien'.

 _ **"HYUNGS! JUNGKOOK! HELP ME!"**_ In all of my years with Bangtan, I've never heard such an awful scream of pain and fear. Taehyung almost never gets scared. He once picked up a bird with a broken neck with no problem. He swallowed live grasshoppers on a dare. When the safety belt broke on the world's tallest rollercoaster with Tae-Tae in the seat, he simply held on and had fun during the experience. Hearing his scream invokes fear and maternal instinct as we all (even Jikook) rush towards the kitchen, towards our hurt dongsaeng (-and for Jungkook- his favorite hyung).

Please, God. Let Kim Taehyung be alright.

 

 


	8. Stop Making My Heart Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung goes to the doctor, Jungkook pines over Captain Oblivious, Yoongi acts insensitive and Jimin wants Yoongi to stop stomping on his heart

"Taehyung." I gasp out, loudly. Hearing that cry makes my heart bleed. I can hear his screams becoming louder: "Jungkook!!! Please!!!" His screams are for me as well, me specifically. I race throughout the house until I find him. Taehyung is underneath a fallen bookshelf. I lift it off of him just in time. A bowling ball was about to fall on top of his head.

The hyungs find us quickly. I pull Taehyung into my chest as he sobs uncontrollably. He cradles his right wrist to his chest. I can't help but murmur apologies to him as I rock us both back and forth.

"I'm sorry I wasn't with you. I should have known something was wrong. I'm so sorry, Tae. I'm sorry, hyung. I'm sorry." I start sobbing too. The hyungs crowd around us. Jin presses kiss after kiss on our foreheads as we cry. He fills in for our eommas as if we are his sons. Like or not, it works and soon we quiet our cries. 

Namjoon calls the hospital to tell them that we'll be in soon. I stand up, carrying Taehyung in my arms. When Yoongi jokes about Taehyung being able to walk on his own, Hoseok pinches his arm hard. Yoongi winces and does a 90° bow, realizing how stupid that was to say that.

We hear outside to the van. Manager-nim purses his lips into a tight line when he sees Taehyung. Tae whimpers with every pothole and turn. I do everything I can think of to distract him. I set him in my lap as I sing to him. I try to freestyle rap. I ask him about his day. Nothing works. Taehyung focuses on the pain alone.

He opens his mouth to say something right as we arrive. I set him down on his feet as Soon as we leave the van. Tae pouts at me, but there's only so much I can take before I become to attached to holding him. Taehyung pouts all the way to the doctor's office. When the doctor begins wrapping his wrist, I hold onto Tae's good hand as he sits in my lap, his back against my chest.

Jimin shakes his head at me, knowing I'm only teasing myself with the possibility of always being able to do this with Taehyung. I kiss Tae's cheek when the doctor finishes. Taehyung's boxy smile males it all worth it.

X

'Jungkook, what are you doing to yourself...' I can tell he's hurting himself. He's toying with the idea that Taehyung feels the same way. I know how it feels to make your heart bleed. Yoongi stomps on my heart all the time.


	9. You're Making Us Suffer (But We Laugh Anyway)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin tells Jimin how Yoongi and his dispute is affecting the rest of Bangtan. Plus cute Vkook (or Taekook) fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some gifs that I believe go along with this chapter. I may not include gifs every time I write. I'm just telling you that now. Sorry for anyone waiting for me to update Hunger. I have no idea what to put in the next chapter. After rereading what I wrote last time (as in the previous chapter), I will update when I feel it is good enough to add as a new chapter. Hope you enjoy this chapter of Awkward Love!!!

“Jimin, why do you think I asked to talk to you today?” Jin says to me, and I try to remember if I’ve done anything to offend him. This morning… Did I compliment his apron? No… But Jin should be fine. He’s a man. (Even if his apron is a bright neon pink) 

Speaking of pink… I wonder what Yoongi and Hoseok are doing right now? Is Hoseok singing Yoongi to sleep? Is Yoongi throwing popcorn into Hoseok’s mouth? Is Hoseok rapping with Yoongi, connecting with him in a way I know I definitely can’t? It doesn’t matter. Maybe I don’t even care about stupid Yoongi with his stupid gummy smile nor his stupid swagger as he walks nor his stupid cute waddle he does sometimes without realizing it nor his stupid way of twirling his chopsticks before he eats (three times each and every time) nor the way he stares at Hoseok instead of me nor the way he-

“Jimin? You don’t need to think so hard about it. I was trying to lighten the mood, not cause your brain to malfunction.” Jin says hurriedly. I chuckle awkwardly as my cheeks turn red. I want to explain to hyung that that isn’t exactly why I didn’t answer him. But saying that will only lead to Jin asking what (or who) I was thinking about then and I seriously don’t want to explain to my hyung that I’m in love with someone who is clearly with someone else. That’s so pitiful and embarrassing, especially because Yoongi doesn’t even care how I feel at this point.

I sigh as if I have a lot of burdens on my shoulders at the moment. Jin raises an eyebrow at me. I just shrug.

“Okay then… Why did you spend all that time thinking about Yoongi instead of answering me, Jimin-ah?” I freeze. My heart beats a little faster and I want to crawl into a hole. I want to hide my face and erase all that time I spent on thinking about my stupid sexy adorable frustrating hyung..

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, hyung. I don’t even like him like that.” I hastily spit the words out. Jin smiles. I realize my mistake. Shit.

“I didn’t say anything about you liking Yoongi, Jimin-ah.” I grind my teeth against each other. I really should just shut up sometimes. “Something you want to tell me?”

“Not really, Jin.” I deadpan before he even finishes his word. Jin hits me on the back of my head. I hiss out in pain.

“Yah!!! I’m your hyung, child!” Jin yells out. I laugh despite the pain in my head. Jin scoffs down at me playfully before laughing along with me. His loud barking laugh doesn’t compliment my high-pitched squeals. Knowing this and realizing it makes me laugh even harder. Jin soon understands why I started laughing harder and follows along as well. 

“Seriously though. Just tell him how you feel. Namjoon is stressed enough as it is. When you two didn’t work it out that time he sent you two too, he pulled out a huge tuff of his hair out of stress. It shocked him so bad that he had to see a doctor and then call his mom in order to calm down just the bare minimum.” I clamp my shut. I am not selfish enough to do that to Namjoon. Namjoon’s mother must be stressed from the incident as well. I bite the inside of my lower lip, finally understanding how Yoongi and I’s dispute is affecting others. 

“Jin, I-”

“No, Jimin. I need you to listen to me.” The desperate tone makes me shudder in fear and anticipation of his next words. I tuck my knees to my chest.

“Taehyung has always had nightmares. Usually, he just sneaks out on the balcony for some fresh air before tucking himself against Jungkook’s back. Then, Taehyung is fine. He’s no longer fine with just that, Jimin. Taehyung has nightmares about us splitting up and each nightmare as you two in the middle of it. Jungkook already stresses himself out. Most of the time, he drops onto his bed exhausted due to overworking his body while trying to practice on some new move. He can’t handle the extent of Taehyung’s nightmares anymore. They’re hurting, Jimin. Hoseok is another story. I think… I think Hoseok is slowly stretching himself out too thin. He’s trying to be there for Yoongi, but with you showing him constant hate, he is slowly falling apart. He goes to a love hotel and that’s how Hoseok spends his night. Because you don’t show him enough love, he goes out to look for it and it’s- It’s not right, Jimin. I try so hard not to fall apart, but this is hurting us. You two are hurting us. Please… Please…” 

Jin breaks down into tears. I watch my strong hyung break down. Of course I know he can cry. I didn’t know someone could sound so hurt and heartbroken. I feel so guilty. He tried to hold it all in and now it’s attacking him. Taehyung and Jungkook are suffering. Namjoon already broke down. Hoseok is so close to doing the same thing. Yoongi… I don’t even know how he could be feeling right now. 

I’ve been so stupid.

X  
“Sorry, Tae. The doctor says no dancing.” I whisper into his ear. I have a sleepy Tae against my body and I want to keep it that way. Taehyung’s stomach was hit in the accident the other day. His wrist is hurting too. I can tell. I always can, no matter how hard Tae Tae tries to hide it. Taehyung is trying to deny how sleep he is and get out of my hair. He must feel guilty about yesterday. It wasn’t his fault. The bookshelf fell. He didn’t push it onto himself.

“Ughhh… Come on, Kookie! He was most likely joking! You know… ‘playing’!” Taehyung says the word ‘playing’ in English. I smile at him, proud. His English gets better and better each day. Namjoon and I are still teaching him a few words even now and then. 

“I’m pretty sure he wasn’t playing, hyung.” Taehyung groans against the sheets on his bed. I laugh at him. 

“Aaahhh. So pitiful!” Taehyung yells out “Yahh!!!” and hits me with a pillow as I fall off of my bed laughing. 

I should laugh while I still can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung laughing and smiling:  
> https://38.media.tumblr.com/d9de5f54a0619ebd13f5f1aa2627e74e/tumblr_inline_nztzahGKFd1sdvtxq_540.gif
> 
> Jungkook laughing and smiling:  
> http://68.media.tumblr.com/2b046b3a76136e1c99648b3a9ad76bb2/tumblr_inline_nmlv89GhoX1tr4693_500.gif
> 
> Jin crying:  
> https://31.media.tumblr.com/bd276236184dfa947730a0685e1be907/tumblr_inline_o2nxng4pYN1rlh1zt_500.gif
> 
> Jimin crying:  
> https://em.wattpad.com/f8fd746253f4488687fbb040c8634ff28b0c8e21/687474703a2f2f692e696d6775722e636f6d2f774e504d456d532e676966?s=fit&h=631&w=1351&q=80
> 
> namjoon looking up with a serious expression:  
> https://68.media.tumblr.com/0d53ffd6856cf6ce0aa2c407235f7b1e/tumblr_inline_ogark9Mpov1u8jfhg_500.gif
> 
> hoseok suffering after jimin ignores him:  
> http://68.media.tumblr.com/3eb4bf4dd4ba2d0f44aedadc9f544b37/tumblr_nybrmhj5ad1tz9gmro1_500.gif
> 
> yoongi having no clue how the rest of bangtan feels:  
> http://68.media.tumblr.com/38bfbbfa056d1eb1fa90e8dde4b73d94/tumblr_nvt2dgbm8j1ue2jylo1_500.gif


	10. Hopefully...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon rants about the ships in Bangtan right now. He also reveals a secret of his own while doing so. Enjoy!

I’m supposed to be in control of them. I’m supposed to know the right words to say to Jin when he worries late at night, I’m supposed to know how to play with Jungkook and Taehyung, I’m supposed to know how to laugh with Hoseok, I’m supposed to know how to write songs with Yoongi, I’m supposed to know how to dance with Jimin… I’m supposed to know how to do all of that. And I do know how to do all of those tasks. The thing is I wasn’t taught how to be a love guru. I wasn’t taught how to confront my members falling in love with each other. I wasn’t supposed to even imagine that ever happening. We grew close from acting like a family. Now that our family now has two incestuous pairs (that I know of) I don’t know what to do nor how to react.

 

Of course I could never hate someone by who they like nor what they like. People have no control over who they are attracted to. They just are, nothing else to it. I just don’t know what to say to them. I don’t know what to tell Jimin when he tells me that Yoongi is making him jealous with Hoseok again. I don’t know what to tell Yoongi when he tells me that Jimin is angry with him and ignoring him for no apparent reason. I don’t know what to tell Hoseok when he tells me he’s in love with Taehyung, who seems to not like anyone. I don’t know what to tell Jungkook when he tells me he feels ‘odd’ anytime Taehyung is mentioned. I don’t know what to tell Taehyung when he tells me two hyungs (that he respectfully said he won’t name) seem to be acting more caring and attentive to him for no reason. I don’t know what to tell Seokjin when he worries about the group becoming a heartbroken awkward mess besides “They’re kids, Jinnie. They’ll have to experience it some time soon”. It’s hard. I have to know the answer to a lot of questions. 

 

Though I’m the leader, I hope they do realize that I’m not the oldest. The eldest hyung is Seokjin, not me. Seokjin is wiser than me and not simply because he’s older than me. He’s wiser because his experiences are broader and more challenging than mine were. He’s been on Earth a significant while longer than I have been. He knows more than I do when it comes to a lot of things. Sometimes I envy him. He gets to be wise and yet doesn’t get bothered about how much he knows or what he knows. Seokjin seems to be pretty fine with things being that way too. Who wouldn’t be? I know I’d enjoy that. I could sit back, smarter than everyone else, yet not feel bad about it because I have the perfect excuse: ‘I’m not the leader so no one asks me a thing’.

 

How lucky. 

 

Well… Hopefully Yoongi realizes that Jimin is just being a jealous mochi. Hopefully Jimin realizes that if he doesn’t tell Yoongi what’s going on with his heart, Hoseok might steal Yoongi’s heart on accident. HOPEfully Hoseok falls in love with someone else or Taehyung falls for him so he can be happy. Hopefully Taehyung falls in love with Jungkook so Jungkook can be happy. Hopefully Taehyung will EVENTUALLY realize two people are in love with him already. 

 

Hopefully Seokjin will realize that I’ve been flirting with him for years now. Let’s pray for them all.


	11. Jimin Comes Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin finally tells Yoongi why he's been acting so different towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels as if it's time to post again. So... Here you go! Enjoy~

“H-Hi, Yoongi…” I whisper. My voice is the only thing interrupting the silence besides the hip hop beat Yoongi is currently working on. It seems he took his work laptop home with him today. I guess I would have noticed that if I were paying him any attention lately. My eyes begin to sting once more. Jin was right. This feud… argument… Whatever this is needs to stop. I inhale a shaky breath before exhaling harshly. I wring my hands. I try to ignore the beads of sweat on my forehead and the claminess of my palms. I guess I’m more nervous than I thought.

 

“What is it, Jimin?” His voice is void of all emotion. He doesn’t look at me while addressing me. I guess I don’t even deserve that. Who blames him? I certainly don’t. I treated my hyung like shit for the past month. I can’t believe I did that with no regard for his feelings nor any thought about how the others were being affected. Jin was right. I should have realized how badly I was hurting my friends, my second family.

 

“I-...” I pause, whimpering as it hits me. What if Taehyung’s accident is my fault? I know the maknaes haven’t been sleeping properly ever since I started this whole situation. Was Taehyung so fatigued and exhausted that his muscles failed him, causing the bookcase to fall on his unsuspecting small frame? Oh my God. How the two of them even face me? I don’t deserve to see their soft smiles. I caused Taehyung pain. I hurt Jungkook’s crush. I hurt the both of them through my selfish actions. I can’t believe I could be so stupid. I crumble to my knees with a dry sob. Yoongi spins around in his desk chair, sliding in front of me.

 

“What’s wrong, Jimin-ah?” The honorific, most likely used in order to comfort me, only makes me cry harder. I’m such a little bitch. I can’t believe I’m too pussy to even explain my feelings to Yoongi. My feelings have done nothing, but cause Bangtan problems. Namjoon stresses himself out over me, Jin worries about me, Hoseok doesn’t know how to help so he blames himself, Jungkook and Taehyung have recurring nightmares about BTS disbanding for good… It’s all my fault.

 

“I can’t confess my stupid…” I pause, trying to gather myself. Yoongi, with his eyes filled with pain and concern, shuffles closer. He reaches for my hips, before thinking better of it. I bite my lower lip to hide the hurt. “I love you, Min Yoongi. I love you so much. I have been so distant… I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I couldn’t find the right words to tell you. I feel so stupid. My thoughtless selfish feelings for my hyung who doesn’t even love me back caused my members pain. It’s all my fault. Namjoon’s stress, Jin’s worry, Taehyung and Jungkook’s nightmares and Hoseok’s guilt… It’s all because of me. Your anger and confusion. It’s all because of me as well. I’m so selfish. It’s all because I couldn’t tell you the moment I started to feel something for you, hyung. I can’t believe I waited this long.” Yoongi, having had been quiet till now, stands up abruptly. I sob before I notice his outstretched hand. I hold onto his hand, allowing me to be pulled. Yoongi sits me on his bed, next to him, before shaking his head. I scrunch up my eyebrows, feeling more sweat roll down my back. Yoongi grabs onto my hips before sitting me in his lap. I blush, hiding my face in his neck. Yoongi strokes my back, seeming as if he doesn’t care that I feel like a janitor’s mop right now. 

 

“How can you think so little of yourself, Jimin-ah? I have you know… I love you too. I have for a while now. It hurt so badly being apart from you, even when I realized you didn’t exactly go anywhere. I was so frustrated hearing you pick at me and watching you make up reasons to yell at me. It hurt me. For right now though, I want you to relax. I can see how emotionally drained you are right now. I don’t want my precious Chim Chim to faint on me…” Yoongi’s gruff voice sounds as sweet as honey to me. I press a gentle kiss against his pressure point, feeling him shiver. “Naughty, Minnie;” he mutters. I giggle, letting him pull me underneath the covers with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimin stans (and Yoongi the ultimate stan) be like:  
> https://68.media.tumblr.com/067e901f2062b5b8092749453658799c/tumblr_oh3vosDnJL1vey8cvo1_250.gif
> 
> Sexy gaze Yoonmin gif:  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/22/8d/15/228d15a18391bf1dee132ff3615eb19f.gif


	12. Finally... Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoonmin are finally happy together.

Yoongi yawns, stretching over his head. He's about to sit up when he sees Jimin laying on top of him. He blinks, confused. 'I thought Jimin hated me still... Didn't we fight? What even happened last night?' All of these thoughts echo in his mind before he remembers. He remembers making up with Jimin, Jimin's confession and the sad tears that ran down his cheeks. Yoongi carefully shifts underneath Jimin, until he's free from the younger's grasp. Yoongi heads out of his room and to the bathroom. He unzips his pants and pees.

"I wonder if the other boys know what happened last night... They probably think that we're still on bad terms with each other," Yoongi thinks to himself before flushing the toilet and tucking himself back into his pants and underwear. He closes the toilet lid off of habit (because- unlike other boys -his mom freaked every time she saw it up when he was younger). He washes his hands, silently singing his ABCs so he doesn't have any reason to go back to Jimin early. He doesn't want to talk to him yet. It'll be awkward. Soon, Yoongi is happy that things are better now, but the first talk after confessing is always awkward in some way. He'd rather avoid it all together.

Yoongi heads to his room, grabbing his sneakers. He doesn't take any time choosing a matching pair. He grabs the first pair he sees. He doesn't want to stay in this house any longer this morning. He just wants to take a walk and figure everything out. He grabs a banana from the kitchen counter and then a spare key from the bowl near the door. He unlocks and locks the door behind him after stepping out of the house. He jogs down the stairs instead of using the stairs.

Jimin is beyond beautiful. He's proven that. When Yoongi had saw Jimin's face this morning, he had nearly choked on how quick he gasped. He didn't want to be that shocked ever again. It simply wasn't good for his heart. Though, he knows that it's going to happen again. It's unavoidable. Jimin is beautiful without even trying. His squishy cheeks, nimble fingers, wide smile, pretty laugh and loving nature make him a nice man. However, as a lover, it poses as a problem. Yoongi is afraid to get too used to it. He doesn't want to get used to getting Jimin to smile, he doesn't want to get used to Jimin's hugs and he doesn't want to get used to hearing Jimin say "I love you". He doesn't want to even hear it once. He's too afraid of it being taken away. 

As Yoongi walks around the city, his head full of the younger man, Jimin can't help but think of his snarky crush. He thinks about how he woke up alone and with no note. He thinks about how there's one less banana on the kitchen counter. He thinks about how Yoongi's all black Adidas aren't near the bedroom door anymore. He tries not to take it to heart, but he can't stop hearing the voice in his head saying,

_**"He regrets last night. He doesn't want you."** _

So Jimin, dancer and singer, does something he's known for: his high notes and high voice. He screams to block the words echoing in his head. The members- all except Yoongi -burst into the kitchen where they find Jimin hunched over, his hands covering his ears. Seokjin curses repeatedly, knowing somehow that this is all Yoongi's fault. Yoongi, as if by Fate's cruel joke, walks in at this moment. Seeing his crush on the floor, he drops the key and hurries over. He holds Jimin, rocking back and forth to calm him down. However, Yoongi- overcome with worry -begins to shake in a similar manner, triggered by seeing Jimin's meltdown. 

Namjoon, still not understanding what's going on, knows what's wrong with the both of them. He tells the maknaes to go into Jungkook's room. They sulk, wanting to help, but even they know that now isn't the time to disobey. Hoseok takes Yoongi into his room, shushing him gently under the older stills with silent tears racing down his cheeks. Namjoon scoops up Jimin princess style and carries him into his room, Seokjin hot on his heels.

Taehyung and Jungkook press close to each other, worried. Jungkook looks at Taehyung with love shining through his eyes. He hates whenever Taehyung is worried. He tries to distract Taehyung by asking if they can do their handshake really quick. Taehyung shakes his head, absentmindedly. He isn't even looking at the other. He's staring at the door as if hoping Yoongi and Jimin will walk in saying it was a prank of some sort though not very funny. Jungkook sighs, pulling out his phone. Of course he's worried. He just doesn't want to worry Tae even further by showing just how much. Jungkook lays down on his bed, grumpy. He turns so his back is towards Taehyung. After a tense moment, Taehyung's resolve breaks and he slips in next to Jungkook. He carefully lies down so he isn't taking up too much room. Jungkook subconsciously presses a chaste kiss to the pucker of his hyung's lips. Taehyung's eyes widen but before he can react properly, Jungkook begins to snore. He rolls his eyes, fond of this sly maknae of his.

Hoseok wipes Yoongi's eyes free of tears before leaving him to check on the maknaes. When he discovers them cuddled up to each other. he can't help but snap a picture. He knows Jungkook will blush then ask for it later while Taehyung will squeal over how cute they look. He frowns, bitter when he realizes that. He thinks about deleting the picture, but something stops him so he doesn't. He doesn't bother heading back to Yoongi, letting himself be selfish for a moment.

Namjoon and Seokjin cuddle Jimin from both sides as the younger cries. He mutters about how Yoongi couldn't possibly love him, how Yoongi must have regretted everything the night before, how Yoongi is too good for him and Seokjin's heart chips away slowly as he hears Jimin's doubt. Yoongi walks into the room with dry eyes. Jimin continues rambling, not seeing Yoongi. He feels two strong arms pull him up and Namjin jump back so they don't get straddled on accident. Yoongi perches on Jimin's thighs. He leans forward, kissing Jimin gently. His mouth feels so warm against Jimin. The older tangles his fingers in Jimin's hair, refusing to add tongue at all. He wants JImin to understand that he doesn't want a night with him, he wants days and nights spent with Jimin. He doesn't want a quick fuck, he wants many hugs.

Yoongi pulls away, realizing what this means. He was worried this morning about not getting to keep Jimin when he never even tried to see what it would feel like. He decides then that he would rather have Jimin for a short while then never have him at all. He'll take what he can get.

"JIminie," Yoongi coos. Jimin blushes.

"What is it, hyung?" He meant to sound confident, but his tiny shy voice gave everything away. Yoongi simply smiles.

"You make me feel so soft... It's refreshing. You know what that means?" Jimin takes a moment to think. Does Yoongi want him to tell him if he understands the word? Or... What else could he mean?

"It means that I don't just want you for your body, Jiminie. I want your heart, love, affection and your all." Jimin tries to hold back a grin but he can't until it's a full fledged smile. He tackles Yoongi and kisses all over his face. 

"I love you, Minnie."

"I love you too, pabo."

"Yah!"

Jimin giggles and Yoongi can't help but kiss him all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!! It's finished. That's that. Maybe I'll make a part two which will be focused on Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok?? If you guys want it, that is. This story took so long for me to write, you guys. I know you understand that because I made you all wait so long (which I am so sorry for). As some of you know, my laptop broke here at home. Due to that and my new job, it's been hard to update regularly. Please have patience with me. Please check out my other ongoing stories here whenever you get the chance. Please let me know if you want a part two. More than five (I am being so generous right now) and I will write it right away. Looking forward to know what you all thought about this final chapter. Was it a surprise? Was it too boring? Should I add extra behind the scenes (omg I didn't mean the pun) chapters? Let me know in the comments. Love you all <3


End file.
